Good day to you lovelies. Are you all settled in?
I thought today would be a good time to finish my lessons learned for now. Today’s topic is, I would say, a bit contentious to those of us with EUPD. Mainstream media would paint us as aggressive, quick to anger, and act on blind rage. Whilst I have had moments where rage and anger take over, this is simply because for myself I do have difficulty in dealing healthily with anger. It is one of the most potent emotions I experience, an ever-consuming fire. But it would always be contained, in the past I did not handle it well at all and it turned into suffering.
I want to preface this by saying I have never acted on my rage and hurt others physically, nor do I condone this in any way.
Like all emotions, anger has its place in our emotional repertoire and experiencing anger in the way I have, and reflecting on this in therapy has taught me a couple of things.
When boundaries have been crossed
Now, we all have boundaries within ourselves that safeguard our well-being, whether we are aware of them or not. Some are instilled in our conditioning as we grow, others we explicitly form ourselves. It is common for anger to rise in me when my own boundaries have been crossed, whether through words or actions. I have learned now more about the boundaries I have, and when I need to put some in place temporarily to protect my well-being and reduce the chances of me having to experience anger. Though I have healthy outlets, it certainly does not lessen the intensity of the experience.
Anger signals when I view, hear or experience things that go against my values/moral compass
Much like boundaries, we all have our own values as humans that guide our morality and ethical compasses. Oftentimes, I have become angry when my values have been crossed, when I witness something that goes against who I am as a human being. For example, injustice, or reports of hatred in the news. There have been times when my anger has gone to extremes, I will not lie. But each time I become angered now, I ask myself why, what is it in particular that has caused this experience, what can I learn from it?
Not to hide emotions
This is a big one. For so many years, I was used to putting on a mask of sanity, if you will, hiding anything and everything for the sake of others. To lessen the stigma and annoyance by other people. Yet in reality, it made things so much worse, not only for myself but to others around me, they would think I was fine and that was not the true picture. In order to properly process my feelings and emotions, they need to be fully experienced, fully shown, appropriately expressed and then dealt with.
What has anger taught you?
Wish you joy and happiness,